It's been a long time since my last post. Many things happened. Desicions were made. Somehow when they coincided and fell nicely chronologically, I started learning a lot, espcially about myself.
2010 was extremely fulfilling. I wouldn't say it was happening though.
Being bored of the long holidays thus deciding to look for a temporary job. My first job days in Noel and Humming. Getting into a course I longed to get into since primary school. Settling down in design school while juggling with a CCA - Dragon Boat. Being lost and unable to perform to my best both academically and in my CCA. Racing at Singapore River Regatta 2010 for TP. Deciding to focus more on school work hence opting out of TPDB. Reuniting with an extended family - my dad's biological family. Spending time with my sister and Fred; being the first to know their future plans to shift to Singapore.
Most importantly, by the second block of semester 2, I felt fully empowered to face all challenges from the upcoming assignments, just like how I initially started off as a newbie to design school.
I've learnt a lot. About life. About my life. About me.
If not for my first job days, I would have found it difficult to understand how to start afresh as a freshman in a new environment. I wouldn't know how to speak confidently in a phone conversation too. If not for the projects in school, I wouldn't have seen how powerful I was in managing my ideas, my team mates and my presentations. If not for Dragon Boat, I wouldn't have the courage and determination to pull through all the hardships for my school work. Of course, I wouldn't have seen the physically tougher side of myself. If not for leaving Dragon Boat, I wouldn't have more time with my family members, especially when my biological grandfather passed away, meeting with the Foo family and being with my sister when she was back in Singapore. If not for being in ADM, I would continue to dress badly, have low self-esteem, not have the eye for aesthetic appeals, and be poor shopper with low understanding of products.
Stepping out of being extremely enthusiastic about school happenings, always taking the lead, and constantly being in the front line is like stepping out of the rushing crowd, glaring at people's feet, evaluating how many times a single square tile is being trampled on every second.
Today is the first day of yet another block. 9 o'clock class ended by 9.45am. I strolled along Bedok Reservoir and sauntered my way home. As I looked at the kayakers paddling in the waters, I do know how much I miss rowing in a Dragon Boat. Then the cool wind blew, diverting my direction to the rattling leaves on the trees. Trees never fail to inspire me, in terms of the details of the texture of the bark, the colours, or the values one can draw from the growth of a tree.
People should grow like trees, standing stronger and getting wiser every year. At the same time, trees are still close to mother nature, protecting her, enhancing her beauty. That's the purpose of trees.
What about my purpose in life? It used to be to bring joy to people. Then it evolved to becoming a great designer who designs clothes for the rich, scoop out all those cash to safe the less fortunate.
But now, I just want to live life the way a human being should. Become stronger mentally, emotionally, intellectually, maybe physically. Embrace the nature of living. Enjoying life is not a way of extravagant living; it's understanding the purpose of life. IT IS PRACTICAL. Most people have lost this understanding, that's why researchers are constantly proving that our way of living is destroying our own habitat.
Nobody can tell when exactly the earth will evolve again. Likewise, nobody can tell when exactly my life will end. Making the fullest of my life would be my greatest satisfaction.
I'm in search of my new purpose. 2011 will be just as wonderful.
5:05 pm;
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know me
littlest of the Pang Family
people call me ChiawMIN or ZhaoMIN
was from Maha Bodhi School