There are simply too many things on earth to understand, be it emotionally or just anything around us.
It's been about 3 months since I officially stepped into TP as a poly student and I've yet to make myself feel totally at home in the campus. Talking to my brother about the common school and studying environment he used to be in, I really feel something is missing, like empty... how to put it? ... like the sense of belonging I feel when I step home, or even TK... like people see you and will instantly acknowledge like "hey, you're part of us."... like I just want to do something for where ever I call "home".
I think I just need more time; getting use to independent learning the college style is quite different from spoon-fed MOE system. I took almost a year to blend into secondary school and another 6 months to love TK, so I guess time will help.
Partly, I suppose, people in TP don't really know me as who I am... like I'm always showing the quiet side... don't know why, but it comes naturally. I need to be understood, not just swallowing my feelings all the time. Back in secondary school, I'd make enough sacrifices for the benefit of others, but I don't want to be evil, mean and selfish because that is just not me. Will anyone understand? I'm a peer mentor, but personally, I need a peer mentor too.
By understanding others, I choose to give in and bear with whatever circumstances. I've never been with the best, but I like seeing things from the point of view of a runner-up who seeks to improve by challenging myself. Emotionally and mentally strong many may say, but deep down inside, I may be the most easily affected.
There are some things which can never be understood... it took me almost 2 year to get over this person and all of a sudden, you became the main character of my dream... -.-'''
Wondering why this post is so long and wordy? I'm just thrashing out my thoughts in the middle of the night, using my Motorola Dext. I've just changed my mobile phoneline, hence 97531515 is no longer in use by me. ( [=c]) if you want my new number, contact me via facebook, email or MSN.
For now, I should turn in and sort out my thoughts in slumberland.
2:08 am;
. . . . .
know me
littlest of the Pang Family
people call me ChiawMIN or ZhaoMIN
was from Maha Bodhi School