MINing of Life

Friday, 23 January 2009

Chinese New Year CelebrationsY

Mdm Ng approached me during the December holidays just to put up a 3-minute performance on stage for today. Having been an event/concert organiser before, I understood the difficulty in getting people up on stage willingly, hence agreed to help her out.

So today was the day. I, sure, was properly attired ("dressed" would be the proper word) for my GuZheng solo... I wore exactly the same outfit which I prepared for my cousin's wedding. I didn't want to feel over-dressed, so I dropped the idea of having make up on.

I kept practicing and practicing backstage the moment I was in the hall. It's absolutely not fun to play pieces which can be easily identified and to even do that alone! The thing about familiar tunes is that once I didn't quite catch it, that's it, I'd be doomed , 'cause the audience would realise it.

I had been used to strumming the string with my left fingers without the plastic "nails". The danger of that was since I had not been consistantly playing my GuZheng, my skin had turned soft again, and so if I over-practiced, the friction produced every time I plucked a string produced heat which gradually caused my fingers to have small blisters >.<

Anyway, the main point was, I did a good job! At least it wasn't as bad as last year's Lunchtime Showcase when nobody could hear anything! This time the audience was quiet enough for me to know that their attention was on my item and they did cheer, they did clap! Isn't that the thing that makes every performer's day?!

Well, other than my own performance, I'm quite impressed by the others too.
1)The Sec 4 Band members were cool, they came together within days and had the approximately 6 minutes performance up, with entertaining gimmicks>.<
2)I liked the spirit of the TK Dance club. The togetherness they had and the determination to persevere despite how people talk bad about them. Really, they kept saying things like "Let's show them what TK Dance is made up!" It kinduf reminded me the times I had in MBS Bhangra when every time I performed was yet another chance to show people the power of Bhangra... haha xD
Oh, oh, oh... and the way they changed their clothes... you can never imagine; they literally strip and "poof!" they were all changed! Kudos to TK Dance!
3)Mr Hareesh was out to impress again! This time he with a change of his mask, he was no longer the ang moh phantom, he was a romantic Chinese lover, singing <<月亮代表我的心>>! He's seriously super funny backstage. Imagine how nervous he was... he shared with me his experience the other time as phantom, when the moment he saw the audience, he was almost submerged in the tsunami of stage fright!
Mr Hareesh was great singing the all-time Mandarin classic!
4)This special guest had always been so supportive of school concerts! She was none other than Mdm Sadia, the administrative staff! This time, brought to us the lovable and lively <<梅兰梅兰我爱你>>.
5)And of course the awesomest piano duet by Bryan (Halim) and Ryan (Chin). I don't know how to describe this, but if you heard them, they're just simply remarkable!

All in all, this year's celebration was quite special for I think the reaction of the audience made the difference in atmosphere. I would rate the excitement level about the same as previous years, but because the audience was focusing their attention on the stage, the interaction between the onstage performers and the offstage spectators somehow seemed closer.

And I'm glad to have brought out my culture to fellow TKsians during this festive season =D

I'd like to thank all those people who cheered for me especially the TK (HK) SLCs, SC peeps, 4J (haha...xD), guides!!!, and maybe a few scouts and manybe a few 2F kids, and I think the teachers too >.<
Oh, of course to Mdm Ng for giving me this opportunity to allow me to play my GuZheng properly as a performance the very first time in my life!

10:41 pm;

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Friday, 16 January 2009

The RoarY

This is a sincere apology to her...

I saw a Sec 3 guy tying the guides scarf around his head like some "sultan" and then he took her guides belt and further accessoriezed his head. Right in front of him, was her.

I was annoyed by the fact that someone was playing and fooling around with the guides uniform.

So I called her out loud, across the canteen, just intending to ask her to get her scarf and belt back, and not to let others play with them.

I did call her. However, when I go on further, I realised that this energy just control over me and made me roar at her, pointing directly at her with my index finger. I dislike people pointing at me like that in any situation.

" ******, don't let anyone play with your uniform! Treat you uniform with respect!" I bellowed while pointing.

I was done with conveyng the message. Then the canteen was in absolute silence. It came to my senses that, hey, Pang Chiaw Min, you just shouted/scolded your junior in front of quite a few people. Si Yuan and Clarissa were beside me. It was then that I knew that I just did something I'd never ever done in TK before.

I thought people who witnessed everything we stunned. They were, of course, for if not, they wouldn't have stopped whatever they were doing to sustain the moment of silence.

I really didn't mean to show that side of me... so for those who witnessed everything, please forget about what happened. Now you know that I can be fierce, okay, fair enough, remember 1 point and forget about the rest. please. please. please.

I felt that there was a need to apologise to her, which I did. I think she's accepted it. Anyway, she's in the wrong, so I just apologised for the unnecessary thunderstorm.

Mr Soh came over to me and asked me to 消气 (to calm down and relax). Knowing that I was fine, he told me that what I did was not wrong, if not my juniors will never understand the importance of it.

I guessed that just showed how significant Girl Guides is to me. Seriously, everything came naturally, not planned, so nature's telling me something.

Nothing happened, people, NOTHING! CHIAW MIN IS STILL A NICE AND PLEASANT PERSON! just don't mess around with her =)

10:18 pm;

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Monday, 12 January 2009

My 1st 'O' level resultY

Most people see me as a Chinese pro, even my cousin. How pro am I or used to be? I came from an all-Chinese school, Maha Bodhi School and though I didn't take Higher Chinese for my PSLE, I was eligible to take this special subject in secondary school.

It has not been easy coming this far. Chinese has always been one of my strongest subject ever since I started interacting with it. I would simply say it's my life. My parents both came from Chinese schools and are more or less considered very traditional Chinese with a rather open mind. So you can see how significant this language is in my family.

Other than my Da Jie (elder sister), nobody else had an opportunity to get close to this higher level of study towards my mother tongue amongst my siblings. Da ge (elder bro) told me that I should hold on to 2 very important subjects - A-maths and Higher Chinese- because they not everyone have a chance to study both of them and these 2 subjects can certainly help anyone in future.

So, days before I got my results back, I was rather confident that I could easily achieve my first safe high distinction of an A1 for my 'O's. Today, I wasn't at all nervous till when the Principal revealed the scorers and distinction rates. All that was in my head was A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 and nothing but A1. Weilin, beside me, was like : I know I didn't do well. I think I'm going to drop (Higher Chinese).

A1s were still moving randomly in all directions in my mind, just like how gas particles move around.

The queue was super long. I saw Mr Ngoi standing at the gallery. At that moment, I couldn't wait to get my A1 to show him.

Finally after struggling in the crowd of queue (if you know what that means), I got that slip of paper. I didn't want to take a look at it till I got out of the 'O' level candidates crowd.

Vivian and Lifeng and all were like: Hey councillor, how much did you get?
I was like: Hehe, don't know; haven't seen yet.
Vivian was like: Okay, I help you see.
And I showed her the side with the printed results.
She was like: Oh, not bad, still can take Higher Chinese.
And I thought she purposely wanted to make it sound like I didn't get an A1.
So when I was at the corridor, I took a glance.

Grade Alphabetical : A

Grade Numerical : TWO

I couldn't help it. People like Isabel shedded tears of joy. People like Bryan Halim and Taha can get A1 and either feel surprised or satisfied.

All those "A1 particles" somehow popped and disappeared or converted to "How? particles".
Those one-word questions were leading to: how am I going to carry on from here? Drop Higher Chinese? Continue?

You see, if it's A1 (a signal for me to continue) or a B3 (a signal for me to drop immediately) that's still not so bad, at least it's definite. A2 is like neither here nor there and once again, I've to make a tough decision which will change my life.

I couldn't get over it, I just couldn't. I want to study Higher Chinese not just to get a -2 for my L1R5, but rahter, it"s for the culture, the understanding. I talked to Mr Ngoi about it. Knowing that I have no intensions of getting into a JC, he said it was wiser for me to concentrate on other subjects and just re-take my Chinese and get a 1. The choice lies in me.

I was totally not in the mood to take the Chemistry theory revision test and the Physics practical in the afternoon lah, but no choice, just anyhow whacked. And after the tests, I continued crying... lolx.

I decided to go out for dinner for I didn't eat breakfast and lunch and since I wasted so much energy crying, I could feel that my stomach was filled with nothing but gas. I kept burping, somehow. I was hungry.

I called Mummy to tell her my dinner plans, and my "faithful" result, and uncontrllably broke down again.
I though I should tell my Er ge too, and unknowingly, my emotions got over me.

I'm so confused about my future!

Anyway, I'd like to spread my thanks to those who comforted me,
YinShuang
Jasmine
Soo Han
Mrs Lim (DM)!
Clarissa
Yuyi
Isabel
Hazel
4J boys (someone silently provided tissue)
4J girls
Naomi
Denise
Ms Tan
Mr Tan! (he seriously talked some sense into me)
Bernice
Cousin
Bobbi
Mdm Huang (she called me!)
Mr Ngoi >=( (can't blame him to by my HCL teacher)
Mama, Papa, Korkor
many many more... (doesn't mean that you name is not stated means you're neglected k?)

Right now, I'm waiting for papa to come home so that we all can sit down and have a discussion over how I should go on.

8:39 pm;

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Sunday, 11 January 2009

1st week of schoolY

A week has finally passed and I'm already not having enough sleep.

For 2009, there will be supplementary lessons or remedial or test every afternoon... how strenuous is that! And now there isn't even an afternoon slot left for art, how fair is that?!

Talking about Art, the only teacher who is not following me through is Ms Tan, my art teacher. Hence Mrs Tan is taking over. It'll be really beneficial from me for I hope to learn more from such an experienced teacher having been through 20 years in the Art education of TK. She's got substance ... and this week, she allowed me to explore and play around with water, glue and spray paint. It's seriously fun!

There's also a change in my CCA teachers-in-charge; Mrs Tey, the unit captain is transfered to dance club and a new teacher, Ms Tan (not my art teacher) who was previously from ZhongHua guides is on board now. Ms Razie is also joining guides.

You may be surprised like me when I suddenly heard this from the teachers, that they offered me a position in guides: Assistant Company Leader (trainer). Many people wanted to get this post because being a trainer recognises one's capabilities and skills. (Actually because the other 2 are Treasurer- nobody wanted to count money- and Quater Mistress -nobody wanted to take charge of the guides room- oops xD... haha).

Ms Tan and Mrs Ang told me that they had a long discussion together with Mrs Tey as well about this and they hope that I'll take it up. But of course, Mrs Ang wanted me to update her on my academic performances. Then she put reality right in my face, like studies, Student Council, family and other aspects of life and threw me a question : Will I be able to manage?

Ms tan summed up everything and she said that from her observation, when they revealed to me about the decision, I sounded very keen, however when everything else was placed in front of me, it seemed like there were things holding me back. I was then given less than 24 hours to make up my decision.

Clarissa and Si Yuan wanted me to focus on whatever that I am doing now for they saw how much I struggled last year. Everyone knew that I can't wait to get a position in guides. I really thought it through, real hard. I wasn't convinced that just because it's the 'O's year means I can't have a go for my passion. I am coping very well now, so I just wasn't convinced. Other things came into my thoughts. And I was glad to came to a final decision. I'll come back to guides once I'm done with everything else and when every other thing else is away from me.

Yesterday was CCA recruitment day. I was honoured to be able to stand within the Colour Party, representing the school as a flag bearer carrying the school flag. For guides, I was the in-charge for outdoor-cooking. To judge how good the food was, if you observed, everytime you take a glance at the kitchen dresser, there was always people gathering there. Okay, the scouts desperate scouts came over, craving for bits of food. As a Patrol Leader, I was glad that I had done my job well.

Nevermind about that, I was so drained after everything! A few of us went to lunch together, then some didn't want to head home so "early", so we continued to parkway. I'm skipping the part where we met *ahem* oh and the nice pants guy. We were quite bored, soooo extremely exhausted, but they STILL didn't want to go back! So we went to Best! denki and played with the Apple products. Deniese introduced us to this camera thing with special effects and then you could bluetooth it to your phone.
These were the results:

11:52 am;

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Thursday, 1 January 2009

Be Brave for 2009Y

It's a new year, a year which I was totally terrified of.

You may be wondering why...
Well, I'm really not prepared for Sec 4 at all, AT ALL! The thought that I'm only months away from the 'O's really haunts me! I was so not looking forward to school at all. Having to perpare for just a simple Normal/Express Chinese Paper was already soooo much work and this time round, it's not just 1 easily manageable subject I'm talking about, it's 4 major fearful ones and 3 hopeful ones. Just the thought of these makes me perspire alot (okay, maybe not, but I have that kinduf feeling).

You can ask Sharmane about how crazy I was that night (maybe 1-2am) when I was chatting with her online about not wanting to go to school, not being in the mood to complete my homework, etc. I was totally ranting everything out.
And then I wanted to be a hardcore... wanting to be kiasu when it comes to academia so that I won't have to face failures all over again... Life's tough.

I decided to head to bed and hopefully get out of it after a good sleep. That night, I had a dream...
Somehow the TK SLCs were on this charity project to help some place in Toa Payoh/ Bishan and we were suppose to go there regularly during the holidays. But when I finally got there after a bus ride with a chee-ko-pek (old male pervert) sitting right beside me throughout the ride, Josephine and Mdm Halilah were the only 2 people there with those folks.
Jo was telling not to worry and stuff...
And Mdm Halilah comforted me! I think she said: Put down whatever setbacks you have... don't let them hinder your way... (something like that)

That was weird! When I got up in the morning, that somehow helped, A LOT! I was getting more optimistic about the new year.

Just last night, hours before we changed our calendar, I was chatting online with Esther (guides junior). When I told her about this, she actually mentioned that Mdm Halilah may be my guardian angel! And Olivia (SLC) exclaimed that she's my fairygod mother...lolx!

It reminded me of the NYC days when she first saw me broke down during a peer mentoring activity in Sarimbun camp. It was about sharing with a partner a relationship which I hope I could improve on. My partner was Vivian. And when my tears dropped in her sight once again during March council camp while I was stressed out between school work and council elections, she asked Vivian to check me out. I was so touched. She may have never said a personal word to me before, but that kind of silent care she has been giving me... it's really kinduf like a guardian angel >.<

here's a soothing song <<慢舞>> by Rui En:
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here's another song, with a little attitude in it <<讨厌>>:

May 2009 bring joy, hope, success and peace to everyone!

10:31 am;

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